My edits:
Principles of Mi Novia To Live By
1. Don't worry about where her sexual energy is and where it comes from. Just enjoy it while she is giving it to you.
2. Do not bitch at her at all, ever, unless you think she needs it. She is a Latina and expects you to be a man and put her in her place when she deserves it. She will test you early, and if you fail to flex the strong pimp hand, she will have zero respect for you. 3. Use direct communication so she knows what you expect. Again, you are the man. She expects you to be one.
4. Suggest to her what you would like for her to do. You can be a man without being a dick. She wants you to be strong, but she also wants you to respect her and treat her like a lady with a brain between her ears.
5. Have common sense when questioning her when seeking information or her whereabouts. She expects you to care enough about her to inquire about her day without being a clingy stalky psychopath.
6. Respect her independence, but make it clear she is your property. Also make it clear she owns you. Ticas are muuuuy celosa, and they want you to be, too, again, without being a clingy stalky psychopath. It is a fine line to balance.
7. Work toward getting what you want by leading her to the decision you want HER to make, and let her make it. If she doesn't make the decision you want, fails to listen to reason, and you are right, flex the strong pimp hand.
8. Remember, she isn't really as mysterious as some think, but she is a romantic. In this regard, Ticas are like most chicas on the planet. The sooner you realize that, the sooner the danger subsides that your dreams will be crushed when you realize that "mysterious Tica" really isn't that much different than the gringas you thought you hated.
9. Continue to have class and respect her. Let her get her own education, and let her earn what she gets or she won't respect you.
10. Try and have goals for every weekend, but don't sweat it when plans get blown off. She sure won't.
AND NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER FORGET, SHE IS A WOMAN, SHE IS A WOMAN, SHE IS A WOMAN, AND THEY ARE ALL PRETTY MUCH THE SAME. REPEAT IT TO YOURSELF AT LEAST THREE TIMES PER DAY.
_________________ One-eyed and peg-legged is how I like 'em, ARRRRR!
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