www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Ha, what a great line and how true it is. I would suggest having those invisible boudaries drawn in the sand before you even hit it. All chicas at least start out ok (I'm guessing) then over time become the problem.

I think if we are a bit more cognizant of this behavior along the way, its easier to keep in check.

Most of us are generally older then the chicas we are with. That alone should give you respect. If a guy shows he can be persuaded by a big butt and a pretty smile, he's dead.

Is it possible a chica can become a spoiled immature bitch after being with a guy? I think so, and if so, who's to blame?

Again, its not about being macho, its about balance...

Cujo

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"Pain is the fuel that fans the flames of my pyre. A battle plan is only as good as the general carrying it out on the field. This is my war son, and I have the biggest bombs and the smallest conscience"...

someone made a good point on another thread.

*for latinas, if there's no drama there's no love...

would we go down there if they acted like level headed responsible women? I actually find the Tica's freespirit, girly, easygoing personality charming. I'm coming from the point of view of seeing these girls at the gluch only though, not as girlfriends where you eventually see their "ugly" side.

OK, so what is mature anyway.....you're 45 ...55...65... and she's 25

you still want to discuss her maturity or imaturity...get real

you know why she is even looking at you let alone talking to you...get real

True Cujo. And you learn a bit more with each one. The beginning is very important. Once a dynamic has been established, it is almost impossible to reverse.

I have found two types of ladies in CR. Mature and responsible and inmature and irresponsible! The later always being P4P girls who seem to live for the moment and all that it has to offer often never leaving the nest.

If you are looking for mature I would advise you to stay away from P4P girls. You need to mingle with the common folks. Ride the bus and speak with ladies on the Av Central or downtown when they are on their way to real jobs. But consider this. With mature ticas you ain't gettin no poonani in 5 to 10 minutes brothers for 40 to 100 dollas! On top of that you're going to have to have an "A" game my friend.

Otherwise stick to dem hoes! Thats how they roll!

The reasons I suspect for the immaturity are many. They are cultural, economical, absentee fathers, poor parenting, apathy, education levels!

A gumbo or cause and reaction on this problem.

Does not end with the ladies either. I have met some pretty immature ticos too!


fiddy

Not limited to p4p by a long shot 50. Like I say, if you can find one with little or no gringo experience, chances are better. The p4p girls are just following the script for the big Novella, which is the gulch. Don't ignore those warning signs, go with your gut! Usually if you feel the drama coming you are right. I actually think it can make things fun, on a limited basis. Not gonna live with it, but some of that passion and drama translates into the sex. And then look out. Have sex with one of these sexxxy latinas when you are both mad at each other.. Holy shit!!

I'm 38 and she's 33. We are only 5 years apart... actually 4.5.

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http://TipsCostaRica.com for pratical advice on living in Costa Rica.
In order to write about life, first you must live it! - E. Hemingway.

I'm also not just talking about poor girls and prostitutes. I'm also talking about the middle class women that I've dated and even one upper class chica i dated who was 38. She was even immature. Phucking 38 year old women was prank calling me and saying bad shit to me in spanish. Thats what you get down here!!!

This women has a nice house, car and comes from a wealthy family. Her ex-husband was a flight attendant for Mexicana and flew the large planes. She she even made a good deal on the divorce.

This crazy bitch was stalking me and prank phone calling me. Well.... I think she got a little tired of the line of chicas waiting at my door with tickets for admisssion. But, thats just her tough shit.

_________________
http://TipsCostaRica.com for pratical advice on living in Costa Rica.
In order to write about life, first you must live it! - E. Hemingway.

I'll agree with this and add that The Gulch is it's own little world and breeds immature behaviour. Cujo makes a good point and since the chicas are sizing us up from the minute we get there we can establish how much of this we are willing to play along with. I have a Gringo friend with dual citizenship who is married to a Tica from Coronado and has 2 daughters. She helps with his business, is as mature as any gringa that I know, yet still retains that Tica passion and zest for life. I'm sure that my buddy has gringoized her to some extent. The family has traveled stateside a number of times and she speaks pretty good english.

On my last trip I did 3 TLNs with a chica who went to culinary school in Toronto and opened a cafe in Escazu, only to have to close it. She outfitted the place with top of the line equipment, was paying 3K/month in rent and was working The Gulch to pay it off. No immaturity whatsoever, great conversation, mostly at LA's bar and at The Jazz Cafe. This leads me to believe that there's some corralition to maturity level and getting out of CR, at the very least The Gulch.

The ex that I was with for 2 1/2 years is another story. Prego at 14 in Nic and moved to CR with 3 K*ds to escape poverty with no cedula, she wound up working at G&G and hated the whole P for P. Never worked anywhere else, I think I even got BangBang convinced of that She gets respect from me for raising those K*ds and trying to give them a better life than in Sandanistaland and it made her grow up fast but when I was with her she was just 22. Looking back, what should I have expected but immaturity? No cartoons but I learned my first Spanish from loads of Telenovellas. I saw her and the K*ds for the first time in 2 years on my last trip. She's 27 now and seems to have changed some. I'm not going down that street again, not even for some pu*sy but I've been working on getting her a cedula so that she can get a real job.

If/when I relocate it'll be way outside The Gulch and hopefully I'll find a novia that has nothing to do with the biz. In the meantime I'll be down Thursday and the party will be on!

The Chica Whisperer: Becoming the Alpha Dog with Your Chica

Calm-assertive energy - being the leader in your relationship is especially important with the chicas, just don't be a jerk about it.

Obviously many of the particulars when dealing with dogs don't apply to the chicas, but the general idea fits very well with what guys like Cujo and Pac55 have been writing here for a while.

Becoming the Alpha Dog in Your Own Home
NY Times, Nov 22, 2009

By ALEX WILLIAMS
AS far back as “Father Knows Best,” television has been an unintentional teaching aid for parents. To watch Mike and Carol Brady labor tirelessly to boost Jan’s wobbly self-esteem, or Cliff and Clair Huxtable corral Denise’s rebellious impulses with affection and wisdom, was to learn how to raise happy, healthy Ch*ldren. After all those hours in front of the set, you couldn’t help but absorb the lessons.

Today’s network lineup provides fewer idealized families and no shortage of questionable child-rearing role models (see “Gosselin, Jon”). For every take-charge SuperNanny, there’s a Homer Simpson, and who wants to raise a Bart?

It’s little wonder, then, that some parents, and even a few Ch*ld therapists, have found themselves taking mental notes from a television personality known for inspiring discipline, order and devotion: Cesar Millan, otherwise known as the Dog Whisperer.

The suggestion that the Dog Whisperer is also a Ch*ld Whisperer of sorts has popped up — sometimes couched as a joke, but, well, not really — in parents’ forums like blogs, online discussion boards, magazines, Twitter feeds and podcasts. Some parents are starting to take notice.

“When we started watching his shows, we had intended to apply his advice toward our dogs,” said Amy Twomey, a blogger on parenthood for The Dallas Morning News who is raising three Ch*ldren under 10 with her husband, Matt. “But we realized a lot of ideas can be used on our K*ds.”

Indeed, Mr. Millan’s advice has replaced a shelf full of books on how to tame an unruly Ch*ld. “It’s all the same simple concept: how to be the pack leader in your own house,” she said.

Certainly, an army, or at least a few divisions, of credentialed experts on human parenthood long ago stumbled on Mr. Millan’s philosophical holy trinity — exercise, discipline and affection equals happiness. And Mr. Millan does not hold himself up as a new Dr. Spock; he has never opined on how one should raise a creature with two legs in his show on the National Geographic Channel, or in his four books.

But some parents — particularly those weary of never-say-no techniques and child-rearing books suggesting that Ch*ldren should call the shots — say they find inspiration, and even practical advice, in Mr. Millan’s approach, which teaches pet owners how to become the alpha dogs by projecting his trademark “calm-assertive energy.”

DaddyCast, a series of podcasts published online by a father of two who identifies himself only as P.D., devoted an episode last year to discussing how he applied Dog Whisperer philosophies to raising Ch*ldren. In the episode, he recalled exchanging Twitter messages with a father who wrote: “Pampering and never punishing will make a Ch*ld crazy and unlikable, never self-competent.”

“That goes along with the philosophy of the Dog Whisperer,” the host added. Brenna Hicks, a Ch*ld therapist in Palm Harbor, Fla., who writes an advice blog, The K*D Counselor, adapted Mr. Millan’s central idea, that dogs take their cues from their masters, and misbehave only when the masters fail to carry themselves, in body language and tone of voice, like pack leaders. In a post, “Raising K*ds: Wisdom From the Dog Whisperer,” she wrote, “When we present nervous, angry or scared energy in front of our K*ds, they pick up on those emotions.”

Allison Pearson, author of the novel “I Don’t Know How She Does It,” which explored the stresses of modern motherhood, explained how parents would naturally envy the authority of dog trainers. “My generation got itself in a muddle about parenting,” she wrote by e-mail. “We thought that obedience was the enemy of love. We didn’t want the K*ds to be afraid of us, but after a while we found ourselves wondering: do we have to do what they say the whole time?”

“Unlike modern parents,” she added, “dog trainers don’t think discipline equals being mean. They understand that dogs are happiest when they know their position in the hierarchy.”

So is it “spare the rolled-up newspaper, spoil the Ch*ld?” Not exactly. Many Dog Whisperer techniques — say, the push on the neck to get a dog’s attention — are best left to the kennel, unless you welcome a visit from Ch*ld Protective Services.

But other measures may yield an obedient Ch*ld. Matthew Hranek, a photographer in New York, has a daughter, Clara, who is 6, and a Patterdale terrier, Charlie, who is a handful. Lately, Mr. Hranek said, he finds himself adopting Mr. Millan’s trademark “sshht!” sound — meant to snap dogs out of unconstructive patterns of thought or behavior — not just when Charlie jumps up on the kitchen counter, but also when Clara does. A bit of a joke? Sure. But it’s efficient. With none of the usual red-in-the-face parental haranguing, it reminds her who is boss in a syllable.

Mr. Hranek said that some parents he knows “do not allow the word ‘no’ to be said around the house. How absurd is that?”

“When you’re wishy-washy with dogs, they take advantage — ‘He didn’t mean don’t eat that biscuit,’ ” Mr. Hranek said. “Kids think the same way.”

In that spirit, Jenny Hope, a television producer in Los Angeles, not connected to the Millan show, applies Dog Whisperer lessons not just to the family dog, Heidi, but also to her son, Rowan, 3. On the show, she said, Mr. Millan lets the dogs know that he decides when they can run off to sniff a juniper bush, and when to heel.

When Ms. Hope’s husband, Simon Cote, recently installed a sprinkler system in the backyard, Rowan wanted to play in the mud. She relented. Fun is crucial, after all. But so is an end to the fun. She let him make his resplendent mess, then brought him in after a set period of time.

“It’s finite, and it’s what they crave,” Ms. Hope explained. “Children love structure, the same as animals love structure.”

Mr. Millan says parents question him all the time. “I’m going to give them my point of view — I’m a father myself,” he said.

As a native of Mexico, he said, he adheres to a more traditional, hierarchical child-rearing philosophy, which he considers effective in both the pack and the family. There, “for thousands of years, the elder has always been the pack leader, it’s never the Ch*ld,” Mr. Millan said. “In America, K*ds have too many options when they only need one: ‘Just do it, because.’ ”

To some parents, however, moving Dog Whisperer theories into the human realm is not so much about changing their child’s attitude as it is about changing their own.

Take Elizabeth Meyer, in Columbus Township, Mich. She and her husband adopted a strong-willed 2-year-old boy from South Korea last year.

“Given that all of us were still adjusting, bonding and getting to know one another, there were times when my husband and I really struggled with parenting,” she wrote in an e-mail message.

Then one night she was watching the Dog Whisperer. Squaring off against a particularly difficult dog, he took its intransigence as an opportunity to teach proper behavior. “This is good,” he said.

For Ms. Meyer, it was a moment of epiphany.

“This is good?” she wrote. “Did I have that attitude as a parent? Was I focusing on the positives, the opportunities? Did I remember to take a deep breath, to be calm and assertive when dealing with a frustrating situation? I realized this was something I really needed to work on. And once I did, I saw a difference right away. Our son was calmer and more responsive. During those times when he did act up, being calm and assertive helped me deal with the misbehavior in a positive way.”

It also, she added, “left me feeling a lot less stressed out.”

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"All them women gonna make me,
teach 'em what they don't know how..." TMIB

I am a HUGE fan of the whisperer. Being a dog man myself, I've often used the same methods with women.

Many things get lost in translation, that's why there are so many unbalanced dogs/women around. You can't fake dominance, a dog/chica can sniff out an imposter.

Many people can't see the difference between dominance and aggression in a dog, thinking they are one in the same...

Having control is getting your desired results with minimum effort...

This always applies to women. When men don't have that then they result to aggression..

Cujo

_________________
"Pain is the fuel that fans the flames of my pyre. A battle plan is only as good as the general carrying it out on the field. This is my war son, and I have the biggest bombs and the smallest conscience"...

That was a great read Kickstand. Although, I'm a lazy dawg myself. I'd rather just run up and hit a perra from behind a few times than being the trainer..... A dog can always find something to hump...

The more I think about it - and really understand what I see around me in CR - I truly believe it is just a small country, with people with small minds. Its like living in a small town in the US. People just don't have good reason to become worldly, mature, or to think outside the box.

Small country. Small people. Small minds.

For example, this terremoto that ocurred in Haiti hardly scratched the local news, until it became obvious it was a horrible problem, and just a short flight away. In fact, ticos this week, are finally beginning to talk about it. They finally sent 125 medicos and now are making a big deal about it that. Whereas, today 12,000 troops from the US just landed to restore order.

We sent our media the morning after the quake. Canal 7 just sent some people today. So, they are a week behind most major coutries, including Mexico, that responded.

The women are immature in relationships. The country as a whole is.... sort of... aloof. (Can't think of a better word)

_________________
http://TipsCostaRica.com for pratical advice on living in Costa Rica.
In order to write about life, first you must live it! - E. Hemingway.

After only 3 trips I'm no expert but I've come to a similar conclusion. True, I haven't gone out of San Jose. But the general attitude I've seen from people makes me compare that city to a small rural town. If that is San Jose, well I get an idea of how the rest of the "rural" parts of the country can be. I'm not gonna belittle them but I understand your comment:


I just think that's why the GFE with all it's pros and cons is so easy to get over there. I was really expecting working girls in the gluch to be way more hardened and standoffish. I wanted to see what GFE was about but never thought it would so easy. And even when there isn't GFE the few girls I've interacted with have for the most part been nicer and more polite than what I've expected them to be. That's one reason I want to go back as many times as I can this year.

P.V.

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El Tigre a Mi Me Acompaña

I recently wifed up with what I believed to be a mature 33 year old with four Ch*ldren. It only took about four weeks for her to turn into a whining stubborn Ch*ld. Thanks to the valuable advise here I did not tolerate it for long. Then it was time for the CRT mantra NEXT!!!!