www.CostaRicaTicas.com

First-timer in a hurry?  Hate doing homework?  Well then I offer you HD's shortish hobby guide to get you through a couple pre trip steps and the first 24 hours in SJ.

Following this, in general, will cost you a bit more.  You're trading money for time.  That said, GET CRT VIP access; the discounts and intel are worth it. I have no affiliation with any establishments or businesses mentioned.

I'm going to assume you can book a flight and get yourself to Juan Santamaría International Airport (SJO).

WHICH HOTEL SHOULD I CHOOSE?

Pick one of the options below - presented here in no particular order.

Hotel Del Rey:  Ultimate chica convenience and bar is open 24/7.  You pay a fee ($11 per as of now) for chicas to ride the elevator to your room... but save on time and taxi. Rooms are, meh.

Sportsmans Lodge:  Some chicas working on site or bring your own.  Wide variety of room options and price points.  Lot's of gringos to socialize with and a fantastic sports bar.  One block to La Amistad.

La Amistad:  Strictly bring your own chica.  Lower key gringo hangout.  Nicely appointed and reasonably priced rooms.  Many, many, perks for the price - especially the all inclusive deal.  Superb resturaunt and classy bar.  One block to Sportsmans.

Zona II:  Limited number of regular guest suites, but they are very nice.  Swanky bar and very clean MP with a quality line up of chicas on site.  No problem with bringing your own chica if a hotel guest.  About 4-5 bocks to SL & LA.

WHAT SHOULD I PACK & WEAR?

Jeans and a shirt (non-hawiian) with a collar are a pretty safe bet.  You are not being dropped into the Amazon.  You're in a major metro and can go shopping if really necessary.

DO I NEED A PHONE?

At today's prices, no excuse not to have an international hobby phone.  Bring an unlocked GSM smartphone.  Do it.  Search Amazon for "Blu unlocked cell phone" or hit up fleabay.

DO I NEED TO KNOW SPANISH?

No, but the more you know the better off you'll be.  You already know the 4 most important words/phrases.  Por favor, gracias, sí, & no. Perdón is a good general purpose excuse me/sorry for a newbie. Small talk and commerce stuff (e.g., numbers) should be next on the learning plan.

SHOULD I ARRANGE FOR COMPANY IN ADVANCE?

No.  I could write a thesis on why this is a bad newbie move.  Would you typically buy a used car based only on a photo that's at least 4 years old?

WHAT DO I DO AT THE AIRPORT?

Duty Free:  CR lets you buy duty free on the way in.  Go for it if you want. Pay in USD it is a better deal.

Phone:  Get a sim chip and prepago plan with data at one of the airport kiosks. Pick a provider based on length of line and/or employee attractiveness.

Money: Change $100 or equivalent to Colones UPSTAIRS in departures area. Or even faster, use the ATM there. The bank is BAC and setup as a booth in the corner by the exit stamp counter. If it's late change a starter amount at your hotel.

Leave:  Go potty, wash your hands, and exit the arrivals area downstairs to meet your ride.  Expect a circus.

HOW DO I GET TO MY HOTEL?

Pura Vida Transport or One Lucky Dog can take care of you.  Both are on CRT and: friendly, trustworthy, responsive, informative, and safe.

WHAT SHOULD I DO ONCE AT THE HOTEL?

Test your phone with a call to the front desk while at reception.  Get your apps set up if you haven't yet: maps, translate, and whatsapp.

Get organized and learn to use the safe.  If electronic, make sure you have the combo down cold BEFORE you put anything inside.  Secure all valuables AS IF you will return with company.

Eat something and hydrate. You've been on a plane and made it through the hustle.  Bottom line, give yourself a break.  Take a nap if needed.

HOW DO I STAY SAFE AND AVOID DRAMA?

Easy, DO NOT:

* Assume you have rights if you get into trouble
* Assume she is 18+
* Get drunk
* Seek or accept illicit drugs
* Be unclear about your destination and how to get there
* Walk around at night, especially alone
* Go to the place of a local you just met
* Accept unsolicited "help"
* Let a taxi take you to a different place because it is "better" than the place you wanted to go
* Wear, carry, or flash expensive stuff
* Engage street people or "workers"
* Argue or debate with a local
* Start a bar tab
* Flush toilet paper
* Agree to a non retail transaction without price and services understood by all
* Fall in love
* Be an arrogant, overly entitled, all-american jackass

I'M CHECKED IN NOW WHAT?

Upcoming posts I'll give ideas based on arrival time: early, mid-day, or late.

DOES THIS LOOK INFECTED?

Not sure, probably.  I'm not a doctor though.

Post above reflects suggestions and corrections received through 01/29/16.


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This post is provided purely for entertainment purposes and free of charge on the part of the author. No tourist or travel promotion is expressed or implied. The author of this post was not provided compensation (monetary or otherwise) for this potentially entertaining contribution.

Great post . I have been at least 15 times and I will be arriving Friday . I am taking a newbie with me this time and today we met to go over this same topic ,. I will make sure he reads this before we depart .
Good job I could not have said it better .

Duty free opens early and closes late, you can pay with US$ or creditcard. Paying in Colones you actually pay more. DO NOT EXCHANGE MONEY AT ANY AIRPORT. I make frequent trips and always hit the ATM after I check in for my flight and bring colones back with me so I have them when I land. Last time though the ATM only let me get $400.00 US instead of my daily limit of 500.00 and gave me all 5K notes. The ATM is located at the far west end of the Departures Check-In Area.

Be safe and remember "If it smells like Cologne, LEAVE IT ALONE" and no serenading the trannies in the park

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIHg5RyU6Mw

All true and valid tips. Airport cambio upstairs is "less worse" than some other options. This is the lazy bones beginner guide. Meaning you're going to pay more while the training wheels are on.

Edit: My bad, I'm talking about the BANK by the exit stamp counter near ticketing. That is your "least worst" airport option unless you use the ATM and have favorable foreign exchange terms with your bank. ATM fees are homework beyond the scope of my write up.

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This post is provided purely for entertainment purposes and free of charge on the part of the author. No tourist or travel promotion is expressed or implied. The author of this post was not provided compensation (monetary or otherwise) for this potentially entertaining contribution.

I MADE IT WHERE ARE THE CHICAS ALREADY!

Ok, what you do next depends entirely on when you are ready to get started. Meaning when are you settled and ready for action? Plan on 2K being your standard pirate taxi fare, each way, in the gulch. Daytime there is no reason to get in a pirate taxi. Avoid pirate taxis if you possibly can. Offer less if you want to haggle or hold out for a legitimate taxi with a meter.

Sunrise to Noon: At the hotel grab breakfast, a cup of coffee, or whatever you do to start the day. If you feel like getting out, try out Café Miel on Avenida 9 just west of Calle 11. Now is a good time to start walking and explore. Walk your way to Parque Morazán and the Del Rey (if it’s not your hotel). Go ahead and pop in. Have a beer, it’s 5:00 somewhere. Probably not much in the way of talent, but you’ll get a feel for the place with less pressure. You remember "no" & "gracias" right? Put ‘em together and you’ll be fine. You have a phone, collect numbers if so inclined. Club Colonial Casino next door is good place to exchange dollars by the way.

Next head south to Avenida Central and turn right (west) on the walking street. Check out the shops, smell the smells, see the sights. Get a sim card in a shop here if you couldn’t do so at the airport. At Av. Central and Calle 6 you’ll find an entrance to Mercado Central. Watch your pockets in here. Do a walkabout and see the variety of stuff for sale - fish, trinkets, clothing, spices, fresh roasted coffee etc. Find a soda inside and have a cheap local lunch. You can easily do this part of your day for 15K or less if you already have a phone set up and don’t shop or booze much.

Oh right the chicas. Well you've seen the Del Rey. Zona II opens at 11:00 and some daytime options start to show up at Sportsmens Lodge at about the same time. $65-$85 is your ST budget. If you can hold off... keep the powder dry for a MP tour.

Post above reflects suggestions and corrections received through 01/29/16.

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This post is provided purely for entertainment purposes and free of charge on the part of the author. No tourist or travel promotion is expressed or implied. The author of this post was not provided compensation (monetary or otherwise) for this potentially entertaining contribution.

No, the departures cambio is worse than the arrivals one. If it is open, use the bank upstairs. If not, try to leg it to Colonial Casino to cover yourself for the evening.

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bypassin' kinky, and usin' the whole chicken!!!

Thanks BD - I'm meaning the bank by the exit stamp counter. I'll edit.

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Noon to Dusk MP Tour Option A: Ok you managed to keep your socks on so far? Good man. Day one does not need to be a sprint. Chicas are getting to work now and you can do a bit of an MP tour. Here’s one route I’ve landed on. Sometimes I don’t make it all the way through… sometimes I do and circle back. From where you came in the Mercado (Av Central & Calle 6):

Go back one block east to Calle 4 and head south about 4 blocks. Just south of Av 8 you’ll find Pension Monica’s and another shop across the street, Erotica II. Back on Av 8 go east 8 blocks to Calle 11. This is a long stretch, I grab a beverage somewhere and maybe a snack. Turn right and head south on Calle 11. You’ll find Relax and Idem on the block across from each other. Have an expensive coke light at Idem. Idem and Monicas show up on a standard Google map.

Want more? Continue south on Calle 11 about 2.5 blocks until you get to a park - Parque de Los Mercaditos. Across the park’s south west corner you’ll find neighbors Erotica III (blue building) and La Mansion (green building). Just a bit further south on Calle 11 is Skate Park - Plaza Gonzalez Viquez. Golden (aka Manos Magicas) is nearby at the corner of Calle 17 and Transversal 13 with a Costco quality "Open" sign in the front window. You have that phone with GPS and maps right?

You can take Calle 11 back north pretty much all the way back to the gulch. Or grab a taxi if you're weak in the knees.

Look up the intersections in advance, throw down a map pin or two and boom! You are a 21st century cocksman who just saw 6-7 MPs in an hour or two... assuming you didn't take an extended break at one of the stops.

Post above reflects suggestions and corrections received through 01/29/16.

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This post is provided purely for entertainment purposes and free of charge on the part of the author. No tourist or travel promotion is expressed or implied. The author of this post was not provided compensation (monetary or otherwise) for this potentially entertaining contribution.

Just hit the ATM at the Bank upstairs by the Exit Tax counter. They do charge you for the transaction but if you pull out 3-500.00 it runs about 2600 colones from what I recall a couple of weeks ago. You do get the best exchange rate going to the ATM and you do not need your passport and spend the time converting greenbacks to colones. I bring very little cash with me anymore and just use the ATM's as I hate wasting time exchanging money at the bank. You get the same rate out of the ATM and no waiting.

To each his own on the ATM thing. I've had a couple bad experiences with foreign ATMs (not at SJO airport though).

Ammended OP to reference the ATM.

Like you I leave CR with enough Colones to get started next visit.

And while I'm thinking of it...

Gents - make sure your bank knows you are traveling so they don't throw up a fraud flag after that 1st transaction.

So we can move it along a bit, there is an extensive thread on changing money here:

viewtopic.php?t=47265

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The bank by the exit stamp counter is as good an exchange rate as almost any other bank or ATM. Last week, I received 531/1 exchange at that bank, and received 529/1 from the BCR ATM's.

I don't want to be picky, because your advice is good. Cafe Miel is on Avenida 9 just west of Calle 11.

Good catch! Edit made.

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Noon to Dusk MP Tour Option B: Feeling more intrepid and don’t mind getting a bit of dirt under your fingernails?  Here’s another tour for you.  Highly recommend a wingman first time on this route.  Again departing from where you came into the Mercado (Av Central & Calle 6):

READ CAREFULLY TWICE: If while at the Mercado you feel even a little uneasy then skip exploring Calle 6. Save it for another time when you are more experienced or have veteran support. NEVER be in this area after dark. Other stops mentioned you can get to from your hotel with less risk.

Head north on Calle 6.  We’re getting into a "rougher" part of town and some would discourage heading in this direction.  Yes, there are: homeless, drug users, pan handlers and the like.  But it’s daytime and you and your wingman walk with purpose.  You left the Rolex and gold chains at home, you should be fine.  I’ve almost always seen police somewhere on Calle 6.  There are actually some interesting shops in this direction. Stop in the Musmani Mini Super on the right as you go north.  Get a water and sit a bit to watch some street action.  There’s a clothing store near there where I’ve picked up cheap shirts, no joke.

Continuing north, cross Avenida 3 there’s a string of 4 MPs on the left side.  They should be pretty obvious with Ticos milling about in the doorways.  Portugesa is on the northernmost end of the block and has columns in front of it.  Historically the better of the bunch, but you'll never know if there’s a gem in the others if you don’t look.  Bar y Pensión Maison is searchable on Google Maps if you want a map point.  Budget 8K for 30 min.  I’ve seen 7.5K reported but have been charged 8K.  Guess I’m still gringo nuevo?

More?  Keep going north on Calle 6 until you can’t.  You’ll be at Avenida 9, turn right (east).  Two blocks on the right you’ll find Josephine Nicole Night Club – which is a strip joint.  It will be closed but just east near the corner is MP360.  Three more blocks east, turn right (south) on Calle 3.  You’ll find Bar and Pension Malibu mid block on the left (east) side of the street.  Have a beer and say "hi" to Theo the proprietor. Let's work our way back to the gulch.

Leave Malibu and go north back to Av 9 and turn right (east). In 3 blocks you'll find yourself at Zona II. Havana Humidor Room is just a few meters further. Both are worthy stops. 2.5 blocks further east and you can pop in to New Fantasy and decide if the gringo up charge is worth it. You're in more familiar territory now and probably ready to stop at your hotel after seeing 7-8 MPs!

Post above reflects suggestions and corrections received through 01/29/16.

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This post is provided purely for entertainment purposes and free of charge on the part of the author. No tourist or travel promotion is expressed or implied. The author of this post was not provided compensation (monetary or otherwise) for this potentially entertaining contribution.

Some excellent tips, thank you on behalf of all who can use them.

One thing that I might add, especially on Calle 6, but anywhere in a foreign country (TJ is another excellent example); if a person comes up to you begging, do not acknowledge them, nor even look at them. Once you have uttered a single word, even if it is just NO, they will take it as dialogue and follow you unmercifully. The odds of you being bothered lessen greatly if you just keep walking like they were not even there, or that you even heard them.

It is not rude, or inconsiderate, they are the ones being inconsiderate, but it is their job.

Health & happiness to all..................

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It's not the size of the wand that put the rabbit in the hat, it's the magic in it!!!