EDIT: I realized that there are some details which might be helpful, which I put as a response further below.
I'm copying and pasting into this post, although it will make this post super long.
INITIAL POST:
Mid-thirties single male ...
Went to Costa Rica for the first time after a bad relationship ... didn't know what Jaco was about ... ended up there thinking it was a "party town" ...
This was in May of 2022.
Got there and realized that it's not a "party town" the way I was thinking it is ...
Decided to check out the local talent with a girl I saw on the street, then saw her the day after, and the day after.
She gave me her WhatsApp in the process, didn't really think I was going to communicate with her once I got back ... but it didn't really turn out this way.
The one thing that stuck out in my mind ... is that after the first time (and me giving her money) I saw her walk over to the convenience store and buy food and water with the money I gave her, gave me ... something ... I don't know what to call this feeling, I just felt bad for her and I guess got a glimpse into the poverty of these girls.
The thing is, Jaco was my last stop in CR before coming back home and I had honestly fallen in love with Costa Rica in general, I was dreaming of a life where I'd wake up early, surf ... then work remotely ... and then go out. I grew up where I live and honestly kind of tired of it.
This girl she knew I was coming back to CR and did EVERYTHING to make me fall for her, and I did ... I fell for her HARD. Obviously I'm posting on this board because I ended up helping financially, since May until now about ~20K Canadian in total ... I was such an idiot.
I learned of "mongering" and ... this board ... after I was in pretty deep. Let's just say, I found another guy's Facebook who is her real boyfriend ... and that shit hurts. The money ... doesn't hurt as much, but she put in SO MUCH EFFORT for me to fall for her, that it is straight up evil in my opinion. I literally cannot believe it ...
Hopefully, my story helps someone else not be as stupid as me. There's a lot of details I could type about the situation but ... it doesn't change the overall situation. I fell for hard, helped enough that she didn't have to "work", other people from Costa Rica reached out to me to tell me ... and I learned that she's been blowing a good amount of the money I sent to her on drugs and alcohol to party with her actual boyfriend.
The amount and depth of lies I was told, it was like ... this is her one special skill. Her actual profession is to portray herself with empathy and say she's in bad situations and make it seem completely believable ... with proof and everything ... but it did not matter. No matter how much I helped her ... it did not matter.
I am a sucker for people with dreams who are in bad situations in life, because I'm the same. I'm a self taught tech guy, doing okay for myself. I was a shithead when I was younger and only graduated high school, taught myself programming from Google and YouTube. So when I meet someone who is struggling in life, and tells me things like "I actually want to go to school to be ______" ... I fall for that shit ... but it was all a lie.
The worst thing is, as soon as she knew that I knew and that I no longer believe in her "promises", her and that dude are happily rubbing it in my face on Facebook, to cause me as much emotional damage as possible. And obviously ... it hurts a lot.
I'm still going to go back to Costa Rica, after I recover financially ... and I think I'll need to get with like a hundred of these girls to get over this situation emotionally.
F ... M ... L
COPIED FROM LATER POST BELOW:
Quote:
UUURRRGGGGHHHH, I'm typing this a second time because this site logged me out while I was typing.
Asco1410: I appreciate you standing up for me, thank you. I did not take Whitecat's response with offense, he is right as well and I expected some harsh responses.
But, simply labelling me a "fool" thinking that I was fooled so easily with just words would be inaccurate, I did not provide all of the details in my initial post and to be honest there are too many ... I don't want to type an entire essay.
However, there are some details I should've shared. So the noobs can understand how insanely strategic it can be.
I met her in May 2022, and secretly found all her Facebook accounts to see if I could trust her, and to be honest ... she would post about me (using my name) which made me file like it might be somewhat real. Because her friends and family were on her Facebook accounts, THIS is what made me drop my guard.
But in September, things changed, she stopped posting about me, and I suspected that she must have met someone local. Fine, shit happens ... long distance is tough regardless of the situation. She had no idea I had found her Facebook accounts anyway.
However, when I tried to leave, she did crazy things to convince me that what she feels for me is real. She would cut her self a lot, dripping blood ... she also drank pine oil and ended up in the hospital. I was sent video proof of all these things. I never in my life expected someone to go to such lengths to stick to a lie, but she did.
She always stuck to her lie, and acted exactly how a person who is being wrongfully accused would act. It did not matter if it was obvious, she would just involve additonal people (like her mom) to back her up. So yes, even her family got in on the lies.
Once she broke her phone on purpose and then used her moms to send me "proof" that she dropped her phone, and that she's in legal trouble from her younger years from selling drugs and needs the ability to be contacted by her lawyer and authorities, she didn't live with her mom which didn't help either. They would randomly see each other (I have been sent location proofs of where they all live as well, because I always asked for as much proof as possible once I started to suspect things) I sent her money two days later when I got paid for a new phone, in those two days she was happily cheating on me with this guy without having to message or call me.
Another time she claimed she had to get detained for 48 hours for the same legal trouble, her mom was in on the lie. She went to the place where she'd get detained in Alajuela and sent me a location, then travelled to see her local boyfriend in Batan. I was sent documents as proof of her legal trouble as well and the lawyer is also on her Facebook and is a real lawyer (I Googled him)
Keep in mind, I thought I was helping her with food, shelter, phone, food for her family because her dad passed away (which he actually did pass away at some point he's not in the picture), which I was sent proof that the money is being used for these things. But the money was also being used to get new tattoos, jewelry, drugs, alcohol, and clothes for her boyfriend and a nice diamond ring lol.
She ... bought ... the diamond ring between her and this guy with the money I sent
While she was handwriting me long poetry in Spanish
I basically paid her to have a boyfriend, get engaged, in a place I paid for her to rent and for the two to bang each other.
Fun times ...
So, how did I figure it out? and how did I know that this boy was not just a customer in the times that I could not help her? (Because I'm not rich ... and my previous relationship hurt my finances pretty nicely as well)
If you view my Facebook through a computer, the friends that show on the home page, and the friends that show up first on my friends page. They show up in these spots in this order because these are people I interact with the most. I did not know this at first, but I'm a tech guy so I picked up on this pattern and researched it. You don't know what type of interaction is happening ... but ... either they're messaging each other a lot or liking each other's photos or something, there's SOME interaction.
I confirmed this because an old ex of mine randomly started messaging me in October, and we talked for a while just for catching up and sure enough, if I viewed my own Facebook through a dummy account my own ex started showing up as the top friend (I don't use Facebook often).
So then, I saw this one guy showing up at the top using three different accounts. The first name was the same but the last names were different. But on one account it had both the same last names, which is how I knew the other two must be the same guy, his pictures confirmed it.
Account 1: First Name then Last Name #1
Account 2: First Name then Last Name #2
Account 3: First Name then Last Name #1 then Last Name #2
And on one of his accounts, there were pictures of him and her.
When I brought this up to her, her and her mother claimed the photos are 2 years old, that account is not really active. BUT eventually when she got a new tattoo a picture with her new tattoo popped up as well.
Furthermore, she seems to have pissed off a lot of local people as well, because eventually three other people reached out to me ... and sent me photos and videos of these two ... where the fingernails she had matched the days that she was either detained or gave me some other story. If it wasn't for these people, I may still have been trapped. Happily thinking that there is a girl in Costa Rica who is honest and loyal who just happened to have a tough life, who is waiting for me ...
There are a lot more details, a lot of things that happened ... a lot of back and forths ... but I think ... this is long enough of an essay for anyone to understand that the strategies used against you can be INTENSE, it can involve family, and it can even involve self damage.
I may just have run into an extreme psychopath ...